James Franco thinks he is the next David Foster Wallace. He is sorely mistaken.

I tend to like James Franco, he is a pretty good actor, has a sense of humor, and can be self deprecating.  However, he has somehow become confused and thinks he is not only an actor, but a writer worthy of being published.  I guess when you can buy your way into Yale’s English PhD program you think you are entitled to publish whatever nonsense comes to ego inflated mind. I read his first short story published in Esquire and holy shit it’s bad.  This a bad reflection on Yale’s English program and James Franco himself.  Don’t believe me? Just check out this quote:

Joe is Mexican. His skin is light ashy brown and his lashes are heavier than mine, and he has short fat eyebrows and shit-brown eyes, and thick hair that flops about his fat pumpkin head.

Holy shit, right?  That line is riddled with cliches and banal analogies.   It gets worse, there is no character arc, there is no momentum, it’s like reading the back of a bag of Cheeto’s but less entertaining.  Hopefully James will go back to acting or getting stoned and pretending to act.  But  James, please forget about getting high and trying to write, it’s a bad idea.